Survivor designs system to allow date rape victims to talk with their rapists

Credit: Original article can be found here

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Dr Kay Stuart has designed a process that would allow victims of date rape to address the hurt caused by their abusers.

Dr Kay Stuart was 20 when she experienced two sexual assaults within three months. The first was when her date spiked her drink, going on to rape her while she was paralysed and alone in his flat.

A law student at Victoria University at the time, Stuart said she did not report her assault to the police. Having no injuries or witnesses to the crime and knowing what awaited her in court, she knew she could not prove she was telling the truth.

When she was sexually assaulted for a second time Stuart experienced a breakdown that led her to drop out of university. Now, more than 50 years later, Dr Stuart says the legal system hasn’t really changed, with the criminal justice system still struggling to convict the majority of date rape cases due to lack of evidence and under-reporting. In a 2009 study 84% of date rape victims said they knew their offenders. However, there was a conviction in only 13% of all the cases in the study.

As part of the completion of her doctorate, Stuart has devised a system to help victims who do not have evidence to convict in court. Called, “Conversations,” the facilitated dialogue process would allow victims of date rape the chance to talk directly and safely with the person who assaulted them, to deal with the harm caused by the act. Stuart is hopeful this system could one day be piloted in New Zealand.

The 72-year-old Stuart completed her doctorate with Victoria Law School in December last year. She said she was inspired by an anonymous letter to the editor she read, in which a victim of date rape wrote about wanting to talk to their rapist about the harm he had caused, but not wanting to prosecute them for the crime.

Stuart said she created Conversations was as a way to combat the inefficiency of the adversarial trial model in trying rape cases, especially acquaintance rape cases.

The dialogue process would see the victim and their rapist talk about what had happened, in an attempt to get the rapist to understand the harm they had caused the victim and help the victim move on with their life.

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Dr Stuart says date rape is an invasive crime that can cut to the heart of who you are.

Stuart argued the behaviour behind sexual assault had to be made “not acceptable.” Date rape was a “very invasive” crime, one often involved drugs or alcohol, and went “to the heart of who you are.”

Not only did the act ruin peoples’ lives, it also placed a heavy burden on the health system and the economy.

Even in a progressive country like New Zealand, and after the #MeToo movement, myths about sexual assault still persisted, Stuart said, with victims continuing to be at risk of being accused of lying.

Stuart’s dialogue process gave victims an avenue to address the harm caused by what had happened to them, even if the perpetrator refused to take responsibility. The process she designed would not be part of the criminal justice process.

Many victims did not want to come forward as they did not want anyone to know about the assault, so the process would be confidential. The victim could choose to enter it and leave if they wanted to.

While organisations such as “Project Restore” provided restorative justice for date rape victims if offenders pleaded guilty, research had shown many sex offenders refused to take responsibility for their crimes, Stuart said.

“I’m sure that my ideas will be extremely controversial, but that’s okay,” Dr Stuart said. “The reality is that we’ve argued about this for decades. And really, we still are not able to help the majority of people who say that they’ve been sexually violated in some way… I’m arguing we have a very serious behavioural problem.”

While it was difficult to refer to her past assaults in her doctorate, Stuart said it was important for readers to know she wasn’t an “ivory tower” academic, writing about issues she had no personal stake in.

“I have walked the walk and I paid a really big price for it.”

Sexual violence: where to get help

Rape Crisis 0800 88 33 00, click link for local helplines.
Victim Support 0800 842 846.
Safetalk text 4334, phone 0800 044 334 webchat safetotalk.nz or email support@safetotalk.nz.
The Harbour Online support and information for people affected by sexual abuse.
Women’s Refuge 0800 733 843
Male Survivors Aotearoa Helplines across NZ, click to find out more (males only).
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.
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